the universe is putting me through paradox lately: for new years i wished for two things, one, to finish graylight and be happy with the result, and two, get my finances in order*. i thought i’d do one first and then the other – grit my teeth and eat rice/ramen/oatmeal (the holy three of my starving artist’s life) and then find a job which would allow me to, oh, eat something with actual proteins or vitamins in it and maybe travel to nyc for a bit! or the ocean! i’ve been on about the ocean for ages already, my friends tire i’m sure. i miss the sea so much i can feel a physical clenching of the heart when i think about it. that’s why it plays such an important role in house of clay as well. i realise that’s miles and miles from unique or even original but i’ve started subscribing to the theory that there are no new stories to tell anyway, so why try. all we can do is tell them our way and be sincere.
right, the universe. so – this woman calls on my phone looking for a friend of mine who’d applied for a job i’d once toyed with the idea of having but never considered applying for because i knew 700-odd people wanted it. only my friend had moved back to the states at this point and i’d completely forgotten about the whole thing. on a whim i called this lady back and said, you know what, she’s not here, but if you want i can come to the interview instead. she said why not. and so it goes and so it goes … my beloved space-time continuum, karma, what have you, served it up like the kick in the side you never saw coming. at that point i had 30 pages left to draw on graylight. 30 pages! (may sound like a lot but it’s not, considering i’ve already done 105). you get what you wish for but never the way you thought it would happen, huh. i won’t complain**, i’ll work mornings and nights and lunch hours to finish this but it’s still gonna take longer. i could do without the anxiety though – like many artistically inclined people i guess i identify a tad to much with my work sometimes. like, i tend to believe i’m nothing when i don’t draw. it’s funny how you get what you wish for really, i was so fed up with my wardrobe*** for one thing and i get a job that offers hundreds of dollars of free clothes. insane.
i’d like to know how all you other authors are doing — we’ve been sharing mostly professional stuff and images here but terry’s last email (i wasn’t the only one that got it i’m sure) sparked a need to share. choosing a difficult carreer path is something we have in common. tell us how you did it/are doing it/not doing it?
* they’ve been at the point where i’d pick one bill out of five to pay each month. it’s a fun little lottery! who gets the money … phone company, electric company, studio …
** this is probably not true. i will complain. a lot. to my boyfriend, poor soul. from now on i will try to shut up about it in blogs however.
*** some of the clothes you see in my comics are designs that i’ve sewn for myself i’m especially skilled at making new creations out of dad’s, boyfriends, brothers, ex-boyfriends old t-shirts (they’re big enough to make new things easily and the fabric is already soft and comfortable – there’s no self-value in new fabric, it can mature like wine).